I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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