I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Apparently you make a good broom.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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