I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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