You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm just crazy horny about you
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
