No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
