I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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