fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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