So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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