I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
