party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
