my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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