Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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This can only be settled by a dance off.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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