She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
