dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
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isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
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My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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