I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
