My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
