The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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