Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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