nut hugger
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
