Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
