Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
