wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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