WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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