I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
