I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
