just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize