Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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