You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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