i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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