I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize