I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
