i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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