do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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