grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
