The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
well you can't waste a boner
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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