so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
