I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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