so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
