Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
