She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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