Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
