Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
