I'm sorry my penis didn't work
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
