I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I have post one night stand depression
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
