Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Randomize
