Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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