I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
