and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
