i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
