sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
