Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
