Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
BRING THE BAGELS
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
