i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
