I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
