Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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