just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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