I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
